Breast Feeding

It's been hard getting out on my own with two kids. Very hard. I have a busy toddler. He has a hard time staying in one spot, he frequently forgets to stay close. He see's things and he has to go after them. So short trips we can do. Anything long and I have to plan. Plan to have someone with us, or plan to have a safe place to go where I can contain him.
I also have a newborn. He is dear and sweet, and we are still breastfeeding.

So instead of having just one kid to worry about when I am looking for a place to breastfeed I have two. For the newborn I want a nice quiet place where we both feel comfortable and are free from distractions, and it is clean. So I prefer if it's not in a bathroom. Many malls in our area have nice breast feeding areas set up in bathrooms. I appreciate the effort. My problems are that it's still in a bathroom. And that in some of them, although they are controlled by a buzzer, anyone with a kid can get in. So I have been sitting there breastfeeding when a man comes in with a kid,and creeps me out. Not that he's with a kid, just the guys demeanour in general. So I keep covered up. One of our malls has a nice little play area set up for your older kid while you breastfeed baby. But it's in the bathroom and it's quite easy for your toddler to get away from you and play in toilets. Or run down the hall.
At our downtown mall you have some options. The "family room" off the food court. It's a family bathroom, and I have addressed my issues with this above. Also any time that door opens my toddler could take off.
There is Sears. They have a whole set of change rooms off the baby area for breastfeeding. The biggest room with the comfortable chairs in it has no door. So keep covered. And it's crowded with chairs. And my toddler could take off. The other rooms have doors that close, but the door has that big gap at the bottom so my toddler can crawl under it. And the chairs in those rooms are completely uncomfortable to sit in and feed your baby.
Then there was the room at the Bay. It was tucked away in a corner changing room that no one really used. It was a big room with two comfy chairs, two change tables and just room enough for two strollers. The door went all the way to the floor, and you can lock it. Perfect. My toddler can't get away. I can breastfeed freely and if I have to quickly set baby down to deal with my toddler I can without flashing anyone. It's quiet, no distractions. I'm comfortable, my kids are comfortable. Great.
I went to use it today. And it wasn't there. They have decided that the store needs to be geared more towards womens fashion than children, and so upper management decided it wasn't needed anymore. So I was told to use the couches in the bathroom. I did since by then both kids were about to loose it.
It smelled like urine. The couches looked kinda gross. I had a stern talk with my two year old that he had to stay on the couch with me,and not go to the toilets, and not stand by the door or go out the door. He played at my feet on a bathroom floor with his cars. After I washed his hands, and the cars before we left to find the manager and complain.
She quickly had someone go and find out why the bathroom smelled as it had just been cleaned. She told me it wasn't her decision. She wanted to keep the breast feeding room. She said it was a business decision, and that there would be no reversing it. She was sympathetic to me, but it was clear that this is the way it will now be. They plan to make the bathroom more inviting for breastfeeding mothers.

I'm upset. I lost my quiet safe place at that mall. There are other places I could go yes. But that one was my favourite.